She was my best friend. At a time in my life when I was learning what friends were, she was there.
We lived across the street from each other, and grew up playing kick the can every afternoon until the street light came on. Once the light clicked on, we knew it was time to head home for the evening. We went to school together, spent the night at each other’s homes and dreamed big dreams together. We were best friends.
One of my clearest memories of our childhood was her ability to write. We were in elementary school and she had already begun to write her first book. I remember the spiral notebooks full of words she wrote to describe the mysteries of her heart. The title of the book was written in black marker across the cover of each notebook. It must have been a long book because the last time I remember seeing it, there were multiple notebooks held together by rubber bands. This was her heart and she put all she had in to carefully writing each word. Long before computers and backspace, I remember the awe I had for her to be able to continue something so consistently. It inspired me. I thought I would also write a book. I am sure I didn’t get much past a few paragraphs before I was sidetracked and moved on to something else. She was a writer, and I wasn’t.
“My days have passed, my plans are shattered, and so are the desires of my heart.” – Job 17:11
A Call to Write
There were many years of my life I had no idea what I was created to do. In fact, it is fair to say I had no idea why I was created, much less the impact my life could have. There were the years of childhood, marriage, motherhood, career and much more. Becoming a grandmother seemed to be the final turn. It marked the missed opportunities and a time when life would slow down. At a time of excitement and joy of a new granddaughter, there was no career and parenting was almost complete.
Until February 2010 when I heard God’s voice tell me to guard my mouth and write. He told me He was going to use my words.
Wait – did He say write? As in, words on a page? My heart jumped, but my mind was spinning as I tried to justify what I was sure I heard. Maybe He meant to write in a journal, so He could speak to me through the words I wrote? Or did He mean immediately, sit down and write on the page in my hand? I did both. But it wasn’t enough.
In the weeks that followed I wrote my first article. It was an emotional experience. Not long after, it was accepted for Destiny in Bloom, a Christian women’s online magazine. I was blessed by the response but didn’t write again for months after.
God didn’t let it rest within my heart. He began opening doors of opportunity and pushed me to continue writing. It took me a while, but almost exactly two years later I began writing again. This time I was asked to join the team of My Purpose Now, an online magazine for women 50+, focusing on my experiences as a grandparent raising grandchildren.
Ministering Through Writing
It is amazing how God takes our live experiences and uses them to minister to others! I believe as long as He is speaking into my heart He is also speaking through my words. It’s an exciting time for me, as God continues to open doors and guide my path. Trusting Him is easy knowing it’s not up to me.
At a time when I thought my life would slow down God fulfilled a desire I had long forgotten about. I believed as a child I was not a writer but God says I am.
Knowing God’s timing is perfect I know I am doing exactly what He created me to do exactly when He created me to do it.
I wonder what desire you may have forgotten. Do you think you are too old, or it’s too late? I challenge you to step out of your comfort zone and in to the plans God has for you!
“Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart.” – Psalm 37:4 (NIV)
June 6, 2012 at 8:32 pm
Jesi, I have felt that way. Like the best part of my life over and my dreams were long forgotten. But after just coming out of a very long wilderness season, I realize God is just getting started.
And the dreams I had as a little girl is still there. I was 11 when I published my first poem in a book. I loved writing poetry and later that turned to lyrics. And my love of piano and poetry blended as I began writing music. Many would say that I’m not a songwriter but God says I am. I’ve been writing worship songs for 20 years. Every time I think it’s pointless, He beckons me to write. Even in my most vulnerable moments. I posted one of my songs on my blog yesterday. It’s not perfect. But it’s a start. And it’s touching people. And that makes my heart happy.
June 7, 2012 at 1:15 am
Jesi, your story is inspirational! It’s wonderful to see your willingness to share the words that God puts in your heart to bless others. Looking forward to reading more encouraging words from you!!
June 5, 2013 at 12:58 pm
This article was a tear-jerker for me. Great writing.